Scientists Discover Democrat with Fully Functioning Brain

In a shocking discovery, a Democrat has been uncovered who exhibits all the signs of a fully functioning brain.  Chuck Schumer, senior Senator from New York, proposes to raise the top marginal tax rate on households above $1 million rather than the $250,000 currently proposed.

The 98% of Americans not making $250,000 a year know that is a shitload of money.  If they did the math, they’d discover that repealing the Bush Tax Breaks For The Rich will cost affluent families only a couple of thousand bucks more in taxes.  A sum that ordinary Americans would gladly use to:  get new brakes / pay for the kids’ braces / fix a leaky roof / make next month’s mortgage. (Pick just one.)

But the GOP has been making serious hay by insisting that most families with incomes over a quarter million dollars are in fact small businessmen who won’t be able to create jobs if those extra two grip are seized by Imperial Stormtroopers the evil Feds.

Schumer’s proposal pulls the rug out from under the feet of these oligarch-coddlers.   Taking the bait, the GOP has already reflexively defended millionaires.  Schumer’s end-around is brilliant, it’s unassailable, it’s perfect.

Mark Warner, another seemingly sentient Democrat, “proposed ending the tax cuts for wealthier individuals and redirecting that $65 billion into new business tax cuts aimed at spurring private sector investment.”

Surprisingly, repealing the Bush Tax Breaks For The Rich is opposed by the full spectrum of Democrats, from ultra-prog Raul Grijalva to Blue Dog Bryan Dorgan, who said,

“I do hope that those who decide to affix labels to various positions might well understand that to borrow a substantial portion of money to provide tax cuts when the country is up to its neck in debt is not a conservative position. It just is not.  And to suggest that we have fewer extensions of tax cuts for the upper-income people so that we don’t borrow money to add to the federal debt, that is not a liberal position. It just is not.”

Unfortunately, beloved children’s author President of the United States, barack obama, already caved to GOP demands to keep the Bush Tax Breaks for the Rich as fast as you’d expect from a cheap corporatist whore.  In fact, he’d already conceded by postponing a vote until after the mid-terms.

Maybe the Democrats should consider running a dolphin in 2012.

(c) 2010 by ‘tamerlane.’  All rights reserved.

7 Responses to Scientists Discover Democrat with Fully Functioning Brain

  1. ducksoup says:

    Business men do not create jobs just because they have extra income with which to pay new workers; businessmen create jobs when the vast number of middle class people SHOP and BUY things, making it worth it to a businessman to hire new employees.

    If the middle class people have less and less spending money (after paying for the increased costs of shelter, food and medical care) and are, thus, less likely to buy goods and services, no business man is going to hire new employees to stand around doing nothing.

    The middle class is the engine of new hiring in this country; the wealthy use their money to buy goods and services and extra homes abroad, which does nothing to stimulate hiring in America.

    We must not let this myth continue to be spread. It is NOT the rich who create new jobs, it is the middle class shoppers spending their money in stores and for services that creates jobs.

    • tamerlane says:

      The infamous lout, Todd Henderson, claimed he & his wife created jobs by hiring “newcomers” (read: illegal aliens) as a maid and gardener. Henderson, a college professor, and his wife, a doctor, had in fact their jobs created by a middle class who could afford healthcare and to send their kids to college.

      The job-creation : tax link has been proven completely false, but it is a canard in any case. It’s about greed. But Schumer’s proposal cleverly forced the Gops to come out and admit they favor millionaires at the expense of the middle class.

      • Alexei says:

        Greed, huh? Is it greed to object to the confiscation of what you’ve earned? To want to keep the fruit of your labor?

  2. madamab says:

    Harry Reid has put Chuck Schumer in charge of policy and messaging in the Senate. I agree 100% – it’s definitely a change for the better. But then, I’ve always liked Chuck even though I don’t agree with some of the things he does. He at least understands how to fight the wingnuts.

  3. tamerlane says:

    Taxation is not “confiscation.” It’s the way we all pay our share for doing all the things we’ve decided to do in common. Nobody makes a million dollars in a vacuum — a robust society allows that. $250K p/a is a very comfortable life. Those who are fortunate enough to enjoy it should STFU.

  4. ducksoup says:


    Tax policies over the past few decades have FAVORED THE RICH at the expense of the middle class and the poor. You should be ashamed of yourself for feeling you haven’t gotten enough.

    Here are some quotes from:

    “the richest 1 percent of Americans, take nearly a quarter of all income and demand that politicians relieve them of their obligations.”

    “the pretax income of the richest 1 percent increased 10 percent every year”

    “more than four-fifths of the total increase in U.S. income went to the richest 1 percent”

    Stop your whining and self-pity for gosh sakes — you’re making a fool of yourself.

  5. Fionnchú says:

    If tax breaks stimulate jobs, has anybody ever tracked how much of the savings allotted the fat cats trickles down on/for us as “job creation”? Maybe more gardeners.

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