Late For Work

September 5, 2011

Vacation season is officially over.  Time to shake the sand out of your beach blankets, throw the clubs in the trunk, and catch the

961 days and still no jobs plan? You're late for work, Mr. President!

last ferry to Wood’s Hole.  Time to get back to work.  AP reports that our Slacker-in-Chief will be spending this Labor Day at an AFL-CIO rally.  Presumedly, this is meant to:

  1. Offer a kiss & make-up session to AFL-CIO head Richard Trumka;
  2. Show obama’s solidarity with ordinary working folk.

The first bullet point is critical, considering all the things Trumka has said about obama lately:

“This is a moment that working people and quite frankly History will judge President Obama on his presidency; will he commit all his energy and focus on bold solutions on the job crisis or will he continue to work with the Tea Party to offer cuts to middle class programs like Social Security ;

“I think he made a strategic mistake when he confused the job crisis with the deficit crisis a number of months ago — when he would talk about job creation and then in the same sentence talk about deficit reduction and people got the two confused;

“I don’t know whether [obama’s Council on Jobs and Competitiveness is] making a difference or not…it’s a legitimate question whether that commission has done anything worthwhile.”

Trumka described obama’s job proposals to date as “nibbly things that aren’t going to make a difference,” and warned that “if they don’t have a jobs program I think we’d better use our money doing other things.”

The second action item will be covered by a mellifluous sound bite assuring that Dear Leader “gets” the struggles of us ordinary folk, along with a promise to make lots of promises in that jobs speech that’s been promised for a month now.

Does anyone else detect a certain lack of urgency here?  Ignoring the PR faux pas of not delivering The Big Jobs Speech at least by Labor Day,  what can we surmise about a president who, facing the worst employment figures in decades, (1,579 mass layoffs in July alone, totaling 145,000 workers) waits until Day 961 of his term to offer a proposal?

That barack obama does not actually give a rat’s ass about the “struggles of ordinary folk,” that’s what.

  • barack obama doesn’t care about my friend who called me this Labor Day weekend to tell me they’re losing their house.  After working for years as the CFO of a small manufacturer, that company went belly-up.  The only job they could find, bookkeeping, doesn’t pay enough to keep up on the mortgage;
  • He doesn’t care about my sister, scrounging for work after years of dedicated service as the E.D. of a large charity.  When the donations dried up (a serious problem for most non-profits, and a hidden cost of this not-officially-a-recession), the charity shut its doors;
  • He doesn’t care about the two young people I met this Summer, who despite having good degrees from good colleges, have zero prospects on the horizen for gainful, full-time employment;
  • He certainly doesn’t care about either me or my new client.  Me, desperate for some new business, I find someone who, after watching me ride their horse, wants to put it in training.  But they can’t, because their hours were just cut in half, and may be laid off soon.

How could barack obama, and his poncy wife, Mechelle Antoinette, relate to ordinary folk when they’ve coasted their entire adult life, and spend the past three years living like royalty on the people’s tab?   Barry’s own work history is a bit dubious:

Barry Barack Hussein Dunham Obama Soetero Soebarkah II

(Alleged) Curriculum Vitae 

  • 1975 or 1976 — ice cream scooper, Baskin-Robbins — Honolulu
  • Date unknown — deli counter clerk, business name unknown — Honolulu
  • 1980 — gift shop sales clerk, business name unknown — Honolulu
  • Sometime between 1981-1983 — construction worker, business name unknown — New York; (yeah, right)
  • Sometime between 1981-1983 — position unknown, company unknown — New York
  • Sometime between 1981-1983 — telemarketer, company unknown — New York
  • 1983-84 — data entry clerk, BIC — New York
  • 1985 — project coordinator, NYPIRG — New York
  • 1985-1988 — community organizer — Chicago; whatever the fuck that entails
  • 1992 – Project Vote, Chicago; registered voters
  • 1993-2004 — associate, Davis, Miner, Barnhill & Galland — Chicago; one litigation, handled Tony Rezko’s financial affairs
  • 1993-2004 — part-time lecturer, University of Chicago Law School — Chicago; no lectures given
  • 1997-2004 — state senator, Illinois; 129 ‘present’ votes, no legislation 
  • 2005-2008 — U.S. Senator; no legislation, no committee meetings
  • 2009 – present — President, United States — Washington; jack shit accomplished

So why should anyone in America care what this loafer has to say in his Jobs Speech?  His record of inaction, failure, and broken promises leaves him a sad joke without a shred of credibility.  Sure, a dwindling cadre of obots, like cargo cultists scanning the skies for the return of John Frum, faithfully await the day their Messiah will finally reward them with acts of wonder and majesty.  But they can forget about the promises of “green jobs” ever being fulfilled, as barry just yesterday caved to corporate interests and killed a clean air measure.

And that leaves us with…

… Rick Perry, who’ll no doubt have a photo op at some Texas factory, claiming that  ‘Every Day is Labor Day in Texas.’  When that really should be, ‘every job in Texas is a shitty job.’   Because, sadly, Perry’s “jobs miracle” (sic) was a momentary blip fueled by new jobs at or below minimum wage.  Texas can now proudly share with Mississippi the title of “State with the most low-paying jobs per capita.”

Looking at it from another perspective, over the past decade, a million Texans have merely been compelled to trade in their old, good careers for new positions at Wal*Mart and Pollo Loco.  And now unemployment there is creeping up again, while Perry has gutted schools, social services, and infrastructure — all the things “struggling ordinary folk” working one of Perry’s shit-ass miracle jobs might need.

Helping the likes of Perry get elected will be the likes of Michelle Malkin, who dedicated this Labor Day to slandering trade unions, with a list of Top 10 Union Thug Moments (no, I will not link).

I find a list of the Top Ten CEO Killers of Jobs more appropriate:

  1. Jack “Neutron Bomb” Welch, GE, 100,000
  2. Fritz Henderson, GM, 100,000
  3. Vikram Pandit, Citigroup, 75,000
  4. Lou Gerstner, IBM, 60,000
  5. Ken Lewis, Bank of Fucking America, 35,000
  6. Jeff “Job Czar” Immelt, GE, 34,000
  7. Mark Hurd, HP, 33,600 (including 24,000 in one day)
  8. Carly Fiorina, HP, 30,000 (not HP again!)
  9. James Owens, Caterpillar, 27,500
  10. Ivan Seidenberg, Verizon, 21,000

With at least a lifetime achievement award going to “Chainsaw Al” Dunlap.

Alternately, Malkin could have listed the Top 10 Mass Layoffs of 2011:

  1. Merck 13,000
  2. Borders 10,700
  3. Cisco 6,500
  4. Lockheed Martin 6,500
  5. Pfizer 5,530
  6. Blackberry 2,000
  7. Delta Airlines 2,000
  8. Boston Scientific 1,400
  9. Sears 700
  10. Gannett 700

We’ll leave Goldman Sachs 1,000, off the list, as that’s poetic justice.

Malkin has no use for unions, or ordinary folk for that matter, having never put in a single day of honest, hard work in her life:

Michelle Malkin

Curriculum Vitae

  • 1992-1994 — Cub reporter for Los Angeles Daily News
  • 1995 —  Intern at libertarian think tank Competitive Enterprise Institute
  • 1996 — Free-lance columnist, Seattle Times
  • 2002 — present —  Book author
  • 2004- 2009 —  Commentator, FOX News
  • 2007- present  —  Blogger

Malkin could use some broader experience to pad out her resume.  Maybe she could move to Texas for a year to work at a Wal*Mart or a Pollo Loco.

Like Malkin, neither barack obama nor Rick Perry understand what it’s like to be an ordinary folk struggling to keep a job, struggling to find a job, struggling to survive on the low pay of a crappy job.  We ought to help them understand.  Both barry and Rick have performed miserably in their current positions.  Yet Rick is asking us to give him barry’s job, while barry wants us to re-up him for another four years.  Here’s how we should respond:

Hi, Rick?  Don’t call us: we’ll call you.

Hello, barry? — you’re fired!

If ever there was a time to hang a “Help Wanted” sign, it’s now.  To fill our open position, we need to recruit someone who’s hardworking and has a proven track record in high government positions.  They need to be intelligent, confident, and exhibit exceptional leadership qualities.  They must be ready to hit the ground running and assume the full responsibilities of the job on Day One.

It’s a hard job, even more so as the previous employee made a total mess of things.  It may be a tough sell to convince the right person, but we need to make an offer they can’t refuse.

If you know of anyone who fits this description, let them know the job is theirs for the taking.
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