The White House Dials 911

December 17, 2010

Last week, the nation witnessed the almost surreal spectacle of Bill Clinton’s impromptu press conference at the White House.  Hurriedly called so Clinton could publicly endorse obama’s tax compromise with the Republicans, it featured 8 minutes of the boy president staring sheepishly like some altar boy while Clinton masterfully pitched the deal Barry’d botched selling so far.  After the hen-pecked obama, fearing a spanking for keeping his harridan waiting at a party, bizarrely left the press conference, we were treated to 20+ minutes of deja vu, as the Big Dawg settled in and fielded a range of questions from Haiti, to healthcare, to the economy, to dealing with Congress, plucking detailed facts & figures from his head, even offering nuanced & well thought-out policy options.  Painfully apparent was the realization that, not only did Clinton know more about the tax plan than its chief architect, he seems to know more about everything than everybody.

(To grasp the full impact of this phenomenon, one must watch the entire video or read the transcript.)


Why Bill, Why?

So sooner had the shock worn off, than speculation began as to why Clinton, a long-time foe of tax cuts to the rich, who as president both raised taxes and created jobs all while building a budget surplus, would favor this sell-out to the greed of the richest 2% of Americans.

We can philosophize until the cows come home whether there was a quid pro quo attached, and what that might entail.  But the question on this observer’s mind is: what was Clinton doing there in the first place?  Certainly obama didn’t say, I need to speak with my old friend and trusted mentor, Bill Clinton. It must have been the White House staffers who insisted, you need to talk to this guy. Perhaps they were hoping the boy wonder might pick up a few tips from watching the old master in action.  If so, that hope went unfulfilled.


Slacker-in-Chief

What’s becoming clearer with every passing day is that obama’s sloth, ineptitude and utter indifference is making it impossible for the White House to function as an organ, or to direct an Administration.  obama’s complete unfamiliarity with drafting & passing legislation, his total lack of negotiating savvy, his poor people skills, can no longer be ignored as when he was running for president.

Truth is, even if obama could handle the job of president, he doesn’t feel like it. He’s checked out, lost in ennui.  Was it not his own senior advisor, Valerie Jarrett, who warned us that Barry is  “easily bored?”

He’s been bored to death his whole life. He’s just too talented to do what ordinary people do.

The office of the presidency is one never-ending to-do list, some items profound (passing legislation, averting wars), some tedious (daily briefings, photo ops, press conferences.)  As obama’s early exit the other day attests, the focus of this First Family is on sumptuous parties and back-to-back-to-back vacations. The Slacker-in-Chief even played hooky one day in April, slipping out a side door without notifying his staff or the press corps, or — as some speculate, the Secret Service.  He claimed he went to watch his daughter’s non-existent? soccer game, held at an inner-city baseball field.

Honestly, wha’d y’all expect when you first dreamt of placing a lazy, self-centered, spoiled brat in the Oval Office?  The White House is paralyzed, the administration adrift, the Democrats in rebellion.  Washington burns while obama fiddles.


Dial 911

White House staff are frantically trying to light their own fire under little Nero’s butt.  Prior to President Clinton’s 911 dispatch, the lingering scuttlebutt was that Secretary Clinton should be brought in as VP, to force the boy wonder finish his homework, eat his vegetables, and complete his chores.

It may come now as a surprise to read of the increased role VP Joe Biden is playing at the White House.  Mock him if you like, but Biden has been around the block a few times, and retains excellent contacts and goodwill on Capital Hill.  If these stories are to be believed, it was Biden’s shoe leather, not Clinton’s breath, that got Congress on board the tax deal.   As one testy congressmen was quoted, “Biden brings everything that Rahm Emanuel brings, but the major difference is everyone likes Joe Biden.”  None of this will suffice in the long run, of course.  Barry simply loathes work, and no one can make him do it.

The public story line so far is that obama has suffered but a temporary setback.  Howard Dean and Axelrod of Evil hit the political shows last Sunday to insist that:  1) obama will definitely run for reelection; and,  2) no one in their right mind would even consider mounting a primary challenge.  In November, the press dutifully reported that Axel will be leaving the White House early next year to begin the reelection campaign.  A complimentary story planted last week speculated that the O12 campaign could raise — place pinky to lip — One Biiiillionnn Dollars!

Whatever this spin may or may not indicate about obama’s plans for 2012, it was meant to quash the concept that obama is a one-termer  To be viewed as a lame duck cannot help a president no one seems to take seriously anymore.  Not Democrats, not Republicans, not the media, not the public.


What About Plan B?

If Plan A fails, if things continue to spin out of control and Barry refuses to show up for work, do the party elders have a Plan B … or maybe a Plan (HR)C?  Just how desperate is the situation?

First off, forget about Hillary becoming obama’s VP. There’s no upside, only downside, for her.  It also wouldn’t do any good.

One option is to continue to muddle along as best they can, prodding Barry into occasional action, circumventing him when he refuses.  They can then play it by ear whether to cut their losses and convince Barry not to seek reelection, avoiding an increasingly likely primary challenge.  This seems to be the current plan.  It proved barely enough to salvage some legislation of the lame duck session, but it’s hard to imagine pulling it off for another two years.

Another scenario is to induce obama to step down now.  Radical as this may seem, don’t rule it out.  No one (who’s not a Republican) is benefitting from the obama presidency any more.  His handlers are exasperated, Democrats in Congress have given up on him, the media has turned on him. Even Soros now shuns him.

If Barry resigns, he gets to return to the job he was destined for: pop idol.  Biden becomes a two-year steward, makes emergency repairs, and steers the battered ship of state into dry dock.  A new VP is chosen and given prominent exposure as a key player in the administration, which amounts to a 12-month head start on their 2012 presidential run.  Speculate at will as to who this VP would be, and whether the quid pro quo speculated above comes into play.

That person, however, will most certainly not be Hillary Clinton.  In terms of influence, VP is a both a symbolic and a real step down from SoS. Nor does Hillary need the exposure — she could win a general election if it was held tomorrow.  The only scenario in which Hillary Clinton becomes VP is some variant of Agnew-Nixon-Ford, where two quick resignations propel her into the Oval Office.   Don’t hold your breath.


Which Way to the Life Rafts?

How can we little people influence the outcome of all this behind-the-scenes maneuvering? We can spread the word that BO MUST GO.  Beyond that, not much.  We’re third class passengers trapped in the steerage of an ocean liner.  We’ve felt the impact of the iceberg, and heard the screeching as it tore open the hull.  All we can do now is pray that there’s somebody up there on the bridge who’s taken ahold of the wheel.

(c) 2010 by ‘tamerlane.’  All rights reserved.


Next Time, Nominate a Democrat

March 31, 2010

In yet another move worthy of a republican president, the Fraud in the White House today reversed the ban on offshore drilling on the Eastern seaboard.  He ought to have waited until tomorrow, April 1, national “I voted for obama” Day.

There’s a good reason the ban was there in the first place: offshore drilling is terribly dirty and inevitably leads to leaks, spills, and irreparable damage to ecosystems.  Floridians have always supported the ban, realizing their state benefits far more from tourism at its shores than it could ever gain from some rigs in its waters.

The president gave this rationale for lifting the ban:

“given our energy needs, in order to sustain economic growth, and produce jobs, and keep our businesses competitive, we are going to need to harness traditional sources of fuel even as we ramp up production of new sources of renewable, homegrown energy.”

Or was it Sarah Palin I heard saying that?  It’s so hard to tell.

The trouble with offshore drilling, or drilling in ANWR for that matter, is:

1.  It’s a drop in the bucket and won’t really help;

2.  The minor benefits have already been deemed unworthy of the cost;

3. There is no “ramping up” to renewable energy going on.

The last point is another area where this false messiah of the progs is acting like a republican.  He promised us green jobs in a green economy, in a green society where we all kept our thermostats at 60º, drove Subarus and Priuses powered by “coexist” and “Love Your Mother” bumper stickers.  Instead, all we get is the same, low-bar MPG standards, pushed out years so Detroit has plenty of time to get their lazy, incompetent asses around to it.   In other words, the exact kind of bone a republican president would throw us if he wanted to avoid real change.

The progs who delivered us this Trojan Turd still won’t wake up.  We get a republican’s approach to FISA, to DADT, to finance industry reform.  We get a carbon-copy of Shrub’s Iraq and Afghanistan policy, and a clone of Nixon’s health care.  And now we get Palin’s energy policy.

So I have a firm request for my proglydite brethren:  sometime before the next Democratic primary, stop filling your huge intellects with useless shit like the antioxidant powers of mache greens, or memorizing the score to Giselle, and instead learn logic, and grow a bullshit-meter while you’re at it.  Then, next time, maybe the Democratic Party can nominate a Democrat.


(c) 2010 by ‘tamerlane.’  All rights reserved.


Time to Move On, MoveOn!

March 10, 2010

Just before New Years of 2009, the progressive PAC, MoveOn, took a poll.  Eagerly awaiting the inauguration of the man they had worked so hard to elect, who they were certain would usher in an era of miraculous Change in America, MoveOn asked its five million members to select the four top goals for the obama administration.  Here’s what they came up with:

#1 Universal Health Care

#2 Economic Recovery and Job Creation

#3 Build a Green Economy / Stop Climate Change

#4 End the War in Iraq

It’s no coincidence that the goals most important to MoveOnians were the same ones obama had most frequently and emphatically promised to focus on — that’s why MoveOn campaigned so zealously for him.  Fifteen months have since passed, and all four of these goals have been shot down in flames:

•  It took only a few of obama’s first hundred days to discover that his Iraq policy was going to be a carbon copy of Shrub’s;

•  The green economy received a few speeches and little else, while a reluctant and ineffectual overnighter to Copenhagen was the best the slacker-in-chief could manage for climate change;

•  Despite obscene handouts to corporations, the economy remains listless.  The administration proudly reported we had actually experienced a “jobless recovery” — a comfort, no doubt, to all those unemployed who’ll soon be receiving moneyless paychecks;

•  Even before the plan for healthcare reform left the White House, it was stillborn.  Nothing more than a sell-out to big pharma and the insurance lobby, obama’s bill ought to die but, like some manure pile that’s caught fire, it continues to smolder and stink, while no one can figure out how to put it out.

Surely MoveOn ought to be greatly disappointed, angry even, at how their Chosen One has failed them.  Inexplicably, they do not hold obama accountable.  They’ve blamed Joe Lieberman, they’ve blamed Blue Dogs and Republicans.  They’ve blamed Geithner, Rahm, and they probably blame Bo, the First Family’s purebred Portuguese water dog, for giving his master bad advice, too.

Poor MoveOn — they just can’t accept that they fell in love with a compulsive liar.   It’s no surprise, really, that an organization that devotes most of its energies to printing hand-held slogans would fall for a mellifluous charlatan whose credentials were limited to the words “Hope” and “Change.”

But now it’s time to move on, MoveOn.  Time to stop being a codependent.   Face it — your boyfriend is a manipulative, untrustworthy shit.  Dump him.

And you need to stop rushing into these unhealthy relationships with shady characters, MoveOn.  No more Howard Deans or Jon Edwards.  Get to know the person first, meet their family, examine their voting record.

And for godsakes, make some bigger signs!

(c) 2010 by ‘tamerlane.’  All rights reserved.